When Tradition Looks Different

Some of what I love the most about the Christmas season are there traditions. Those things you look forward to the other 10 or 11 months a year. Maybe it's a place you go, or a performance you see, or a special meal you prepare. Odds are whatever it is, family is involved, which is a big part of what makes it special. Memories are made. Laughing typically occurs, and joy is felt by all as the celebrations ensue. (Otherwise, why would we do it?)

For my wife and I this year, our traditions are looking different. For reasons that are still a little too fresh and personal to share just yet, this year has been weird. It started when we “celebrated” Thanksgiving by driving home 600 miles after an emotional and tumultuous three weeks. The holiday season was not off to a good start, and frankly there was a part of me that just wanted to fast forward to about February. Alas, wishing time away is not only not possible, it's wrong on multiple levels. So here we are, on Christmas Eve Eve (as I write this).

In any normal year, at least the last 10 or so, we would be preparing for a big “’family” Christmas Eve brunch tomorrow morning. I put family in quotes because it always includes extended family – friends that are not with, or don't have, family to celebrate with. Not so this year though. We decided to skip it this year. We know it was the right choice for us, but it seems strange knowing we aren't going to partake in what is usually one of the highlights of the season for us. Family and friends that would typically come, have been very gracious and understanding. We are aware though that it affects their traditions as well.

Anyway, this is where we are at this year. I won't go into our story any deeper than that. What I do want to do though, is look at a few questions that I've asked in this season of “different”.

I'm a big believer in what Paul says in Romans chapter 8 that, “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28 NLT). I'm confident I meet the qualifying statement in the second half of that verse, so my first question is this:

#1 What is the good that God is going to work in all of this? Will I see it? Will I know it if I see it? I don't ask these questions sarcastically, but with genuine anticipation? What is it you're going to do God?

#2 Is this the new normal? Is this the way it's always going to be now? Are we done with what we used to do and need to establish new traditions from this point forward? Will things ever be the same again?

#3 what do I do with all of this? What does God want me to learn? How am I being changed that will benefit his Kingdom and point to his glory? What is my part?

There are many other questions, but I'll spare you. Partly, because the answer to all of them – these three and all the others – is the same, at least so far.

To all these questions, I hear God answering, “Don't worry about that now. It doesn't matter at this point.” And right now, in this moment, I hear him repeating a word he gave me on January 2nd of this year, our first day at church in 2022… “Quit striving and rest in what I'm doing.”. So, there's that. If I only had a nickel for every time I've heard some variation of, rest in it and let the process do its thing.

Some of the best encouragement and advice we’ve received, came from a good friend who has walked through a similar situation. “Manage the moments”, he said. It isn't hard to see that you can't do that when you're trying to get past the moments and see where things are headed. All things in His time. You can't avoid the process. And in the long run we're better off embracing it, and letting God do the work He needs to do.

If you're facing something that is making this season difficult, and throwing off your traditions, remember that God is at work in all of it, and you can't rush it, so don't even try. And know that we are praying for you.

May the true spirit of Christmas bring you comfort and joy this season regardless of your circumstances.

Merry Christmas to All