As I write this, we are just a little more than a day away from Thanksgiving. Typically, this is one of my favorite days of the year, and this is certainly my most favorite time of year. The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then New Year’s, has always been full of joy and hope and expectation of what the next year will bring. The last couple of Thanksgiving’s have had a different feel for me, though.
Two years ago, our youngest daughter passed away the weekend prior to Thanksgiving. Her funeral was the day before. My wife and I drove back from Florida to our north Georgia home on Thanksgiving Day. Thanks to a dear friend and neighbor, we had dinner that night when we returned. Not your typical Turkey-Day.
Last year, my wife had become very sick a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. When the day arrived we were in the middle of trying to figure out, with the help of multiple doctors, what exactly was going on with her health. Thanks to the same dear friend, though, we actually had what my wife would later call, “the best Thanksgiving day ever!” The weeks and months that followed involved more doctors and more trying to figure things out.
Fast forward – without all the details – my precious wife Barbara passed away a month ago. There is a lot to be said, and written, about the last few months, but that will come later. For right now, I want to focus on something that God spoke to me this morning about gratitude and perspective.
Let’s go back 14 years – to the summer of 2010. In the span of just a few weeks, I finished business school and received my MBA, our daughter Michelle got married and… Barbara had a heart attack. It resulted in her having quadruple bypass surgery. There were many ways that God showed up and showed off during those few weeks. Relating just one… the local Fire Department that answered our 911 call had just been given authorization the day before, to be able to administer Nitroglycerin to heart attack victims, without having to wait for the ambulance to arrive. Barbara was the first patient to benefit from it. And without it, she may not have survived.
Three months later, now late September, Barbara had another heart attack. (As she would say, the same one over again.) Her bypasses failed – except for one. The one that was added in as “redundancy” by the surgeon earlier that summer. That “just in case” bypass allowed her to survive. Unfortunately, though, the situation was still very dire, because they knew that a bypass would not work and, at least up until then, stents were not an option for her specific blockages. The doctor at that hospital told me, “There’s nothing we can do.”
But God.
What they did do, was transfer her to the same hospital where Barbara had the original bypass surgery. And – watch what God did this time – it just so happened that there was a Cardiologist there who had just returned from a conference where they discussed placing stents in tricky places. He was confident he could do it. And do it, he did! Five very strategically placed stents in my wife’s chest that got her heart back pumping properly, and as we would discover for the remainder of her life, was stronger than it had been even in the years leading up to that point.
Now, you’re thinking what does this have to do with gratitude and perspective? Well, everything frankly.
Earlier this morning I happened to drive by the hospital that “couldn’t do anything” for her. And then traveled the same road on which I followed the ambulance that transferred her to the other hospital. That trip I made 14 years ago was full of the most emotional and fervent praying I had ever done. God responded to that prayer. In doing so, He gave me 14 additional years with the most amazing wife and woman this world has ever known.
Fourteen years. The last month I’ve been spending a lot of time telling God that I wanted “ten more years” with Barbara. When I passed that hospital this morning, I heard Him say that He gave us 14 years, that – without His intervention – we never would have had. And for that, I am so incredibly grateful.
I can’t imagine what the last 14 years would have been like without her. Would I have prefer another ten? Of course! Twenty would be even better! We had the amount of time that He wanted us to have, though, and I have to be OK with that. Grieving will take a while. My world has changed immensely. I will always love and miss her…
But I will see her again someday. And I can’t wait!
Finally, back to the question at the top of this page. What are you grateful for this Thanksgiving? Depending on your circumstances, you may have to look deep. But look with His eyes. Look with His perspective. There is always something to be grateful for.
May you and yours have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving.
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